Today has been a really rough day for me.
Only ONE of my four appointments I saw was respectful with good hygiene. I have been spoken to extremely rudely; I have clearly set boundaries only to have them ignored or dismissed and trampled on; and I have been treated with an absolute disregard for my very human body. Despite what some may think, just because I offer my time for financial compensation doesn’t mean that I have ceased to be a person. I am confident in my skills at communicating clearly but communicating is only as effective as both the sending AND receiving. I always give fair warning the first time something happens against my wishes but I will not tell an adult man a second or third time - I shouldn’t have to! What’s truly tragic is that I have been trying to be fair in terms of my bookings and I don’t cancel someone in favour of others [who I have met] that I know to be good men…Perhaps I should start cancelling new clients when the opportunity to see someone familiar and enjoyable contacts me asking for an already booked timing…
Like everyone on the planet I have good days and bad days. On the good days, I enjoy giving pleasure and companionship to respectful gentlemen who make sure to shower and brush their teeth. On bad days (like today) I have trouble sleeping and my anxiety is so bad that I actually feel my body trembling and even full on shaking…
On bad days it’s really hard to remind myself why I am in this industry…good days are why I came back after a six year hiatus and have kept coming back for the last two decades.
“Find something you love to do and get paid to do it and you’ll never really work a day in your life.”
It’s late and I’m exhausted but the dilemma of new clients. Do I stop taking new clients? That’s not good business at all. Do I start requiring a deposit so I have at least a small compensation for the awful things I have had being done and said to me? I would estimate that would eliminate at least 75% of new clientele; also bad business. Do I need to start each session with a comprehensive list of “don’ts”? That would take far too much time away from the actual appointment. Maybe I should start requiring references from another reputable MA/SP? Also a time consuming endeavour.
My therapist tells me more often than anything else that I need to be kinder to myself. That would be much easier if the people I saw were largely kind … but lately it’s a small welcome surprise when someone is completely respectful and I don’t have to cut my sessions short and I don’t have to suffer any kind of abuse for any amount of time.
One thing I absolutely won’t do is stop enjoying my wonderful loyal clients. I won’t let jerks completely lacking in basic decency have direct or indirect influence on my decisions or my life.
There are no easy answers and I wish that I had more financial freedom to turn down more appointments but it was a difficult winter and I don’t have any influence over who contacts me and when for bookings.
The worst part of today? Client grabs my head roughly in the same manner as happened when I was badly assaulted. I move away from him and tell him politely to please not grab on to my head. What does he do? Grabs me harder and tries to hold me when I am clearly trying to move out of his grasp. And when I shove him off and get upset - he laughs at me. As if my pain, my trauma is a joke.
If you have actually read this far…thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to enjoy my content and I apologize for the negative subject of this post…but I have a huge favour to ask. I desperately need a day to relax and not take any appointments, but financially I can’t afford to. I’m willing to offer discounts on appointments for double any amount up to $40 (yes, that means $80 off your appointment) that you send as a deposit on a future appointment. I accept e-transfer at:
guiltypleasureskathryn@gmail.com
Use password:
Naughty2023
In the message part of the transfer, write: Doubled Discount Deposit
If I can get even $250 to take a day off I know that the discount will be totally worth it... and the appreciation you'll receive during said appointment will be so worth it for you too!
All My Love & Much Affection,
Kathryn
