𝑭𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒊𝒓𝒔, 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒏 𝒆𝒙𝒄𝒆𝒓𝒑𝒕 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒅𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏 𝒂 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒑 𝒄𝒍𝒖𝒃. 𝑰𝒕’𝒔 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒎𝒔 𝒔𝒐 𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒈𝒐. 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒂 𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒂𝒘𝒌𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒅, 𝒖𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒅𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍. 𝑬𝒏𝒋𝒐𝒚! 𝑿𝒐 𝑲𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒚𝒏
“I’m having second thoughts,” I admitted. “In all honesty, I really don’t feel that I am any match for these gorgeous girls.”
“Don’t be silly, babe,” she moved to put her hand on my leg. “Every one of these girls had a first night too; you have to start somewhere. Some of them still get nervous when they have to go on stage, some still have a hard time talking to clients -- they’re every bit as real as you are.”
Her words made a lot of sense and I know they were meant to put me at ease. But instead they incited a new worry – talking to the clients! How was I supposed to go about doing that? I had been so caught up worrying about music, and going on stage, and just my appearance in general that I hadn’t even really considered the fact that I had to talk to the guys who were going to watch me dance naked.
As if reading my mind, Ruby said, “Once you’ve had a few drinks and taken the edge off a bit, we’ll figure out which guys we’re going to go see and try to make money off of.”
With that, she motioned the waiter over. She ordered four vodka shots and two Sex on the Beach cocktails. She tilted her head to indicate for me to help myself. I picked up one of the shot glasses with trembling fingers. Ruby picked up one of the other glasses and raised it to mine. I concentrated hard so as not to spill mine.
“Cheers to a hopefully profitable night,” she said with her most dazzling smile. Her green eyes darted to the side for a split second before we both downed our shots. That warm familiar feeling swept down my throat and through my whole body.
“That guy who just walked in spends big bucks,” She told me in a conspiratorial tone. “I’m sure he’ll take you for some dances later.” So that’s what had caught her attention.
“That’s good news,” I said.
We each took our second shots and I let the alcohol wash over me, soothing my nerves. I sipped on my drink, and then lit a cigarette. I took in my surroundings as I sucked the life out of my smoke. There were girls mingling with the guys now, dressed in sexy short skirts, long dresses with slits all the way up, sequins, neon, bikinis, and a lot of skin. I enjoyed the atmosphere of all these sexy women with their brilliant smiles. And in the middle of the room, the stage was occupied by a girl dancing to a hard rock song, Metallica maybe? She had long, stick straight black hair, enormous breasts, and long legs that I watched her twist around the pole as she proceeded to be holding herself upside down on the pole with only one leg holding her there. I was completely mesmerized and utterly fascinated as she then took her g-string
off while hanging there upside down.
“Yoo hoo, Anastasia!” Ruby snapped her fingers in front of my face. She then pointed at my cigarette, which the ash was about to fall off of. Embarrassed, I ashed my cigarette.
“Okay, let’s go see Freddie,” Ruby said as she downed the rest of her cocktail. “Hopefully he will be your first client, and he’s an absolute sweetheart.”
I had already finished my drink and was feeling a little bit less tense. I followed her to a table at the back of the club where three guys were sitting. They looked to be in their late thirties, early forties, dressed casually but with an air of money. Ruby went over to one of the guys and kissed him on both cheeks in greeting.
“Hey honey, this is Anastasia,” She gestured towards me. “Meet Freddie, John, and Brian. Tonight is Anastasia’s first night.”
God, I’m glad it’s dark in here. I could feel my face going red at Ruby’s words. I was awkward enough without her pointing out that it was my first night.
The three guys all smiled and shook my hand. Ruby and I sat down and Freddie offered to buy us drinks. Ruby was all smiles and was right up close to Freddie. I sat on the other side of her, and Brian was next to me. I shyly accepted the offer of the drink and asked for a Sex on the Beach, but had to repeat myself because my voice was barely audible above the music.
“So where are you from?” Brian asked me.
“Ottawa. How about you?” I put a smile on my face even though inside I was a bundle of nerves all over again.
“I grew up in Toronto, moved to Ottawa about fifteen years ago,” he replied. “What brings you to Quebexico, trying to hide out from people you know?”
I nearly spat out my drink, I thought that term for Quebec quite amusing. “Not especially. But Ruby is my guide since I’m new to all of this.”
The five of us continued to make small talk for several minutes and I tried to mimic Ruby’s body language. She had such an wonderful way about her, gracefully sitting with her legs crossed, she’d smooth out her skirt, or push her hair out of her face in a way that was definitely sexy, and very graceful. I felt so awkward sitting next to her; completely out of place with my regular old high heels and plain black attire.
I noticed out of the corner of my eye Ruby whispering something in Freddie’s ear while I was also listening to Brian tell me about a trip he took to Germany recently. These men were so worldly. They travelled a lot for business, although what they did exactly was somewhat vague other than the fact that they dealt in importing. Whatever Ruby whispered to Freddie, he had a great big smile on his face.
“Excuse me gentlemen, lady,” Freddie interrupted Brian’s story. “I’m going to take the lovely Anastasia for her first dance.”
And with that he stood up and offered me his hand. My heart leapt in my throat and my mind was racing a mile a minute. I robotically stood up and took his hand and he squeezed mine. He began to lead me across the room to the designated area for private dances, also known as the champagne room. As we walked through the entrance of this area, all I could see was flashes of nakedness everywhere it seemed. There were ten booths, five on either side, with a divider down the middle to provide further privacy, I suppose, yet there were mirrors on the divider and I caught glimpses of some of the girls giving dances as Freddie gently guided me to a booth of our own.
“Welcome to your new office,” Freddie joked. He sat down on the leather bench and gestured for me to do the same. I was so nervous I was shaking. When Freddie noticed how badly I was shaking, he put his hand on my leg.
“Just relax, babe, you’re beautiful,” he murmured in my ear. “You’re going to make a ton of money at this without even having to try.”
“I-I-I just don’t even have a clue as to how to give a lap dance,” I spluttered out.
“While we wait for the next song to start, why don’t I give you a massage and you can watch the other girls via the mirrors then?” He suggested.
“Okay,” I agreed.
There was a small stool in each of the booths, and I slipped down on to it so that I could sit in front of Freddie and allow his strong hands to start rubbing my shoulders. It really helped me relax that he was rubbing my tense body. I watched one of the girls a few booths down grinding sexily to the music. She was already completely naked, and was, from the looks of it, having an intense conversation with her client as her hips swayed seductively.
“See? It’s not difficult,” Freddie whispered into my ear. “You slowly take off your clothes and move to the music, maybe play with your pussy, run your hands on your body…They’re allowed to touch anywhere, but not your pussy. You’re supposed to keep one foot on the floor at all times, so no straddling the customer. They do not allow kissing, biting, or sucking. Grinding against the guy’s crotch is frowned upon, although I’ve seen a few girls do it here. You are not to touch the guy’s skin or his crotch. Best advice I can give you is become a great listener and a great conversationalist. After the clothes are gone, you’ve got to have some qualities to keep his interest.”
Ruby had explained the rules to me before, but I listened to Freddie intently and appreciated his advice. Indeed, as I watched the other girl, the man was looking more at her face than her naked body. Whatever she was talking about was clearly what held his interest.
“Remember, a lot of guys come here to get the things that they either don’t get ever or are not getting enough of at home from their wives,” he continued. “They want a sexy girl on their lap, amusing them and giving them affection. Stripping is about a fantasy. You ready to show me what’s under these clothes?” With that, he began lifting my tank top up.
It felt so strange to me that this complete stranger was starting to undress me. At that point in my life, I had had a one night stand - - once. Other than that, I had two relationships in which I was sexually active. I felt like I was losing my virginity as he slowly peeled my tank top off to reveal my small breasts with their tiny matching nipples. I was still trembling slightly, although he had a really nice touch that was slowly starting to actually feel good. I stood up as gracefully as I could manage.
“You’ve got a great body,” Freddie assured me as he ran his hands down my sides, over my hips as he began to tug down my booty shorts. I was thankful he couldn’t see me blush in the dark. I began to gyrate my hips to the music, letting my body relax and allowing myself to enjoy the attention my body was receiving. I carefully sat down on one of his legs as I slipped the lace shorts down my long legs. Not the easiest thing to do while trying to be sexy. I almost fell off his leg while trying to get them over my heels.
“You may want to consider a wardrobe that is easier to take off,” Freddie said with a smile. His hands continued to explore my naked body. The alcohol was starting to actually kick in and I was enjoying him touching me. I turned to face him, and put my knee on the bench beside him with one foot on the floor. I put my hands on his arms as I swayed to the music. His hands were roaming up the back of my legs and gave me this tingly feeling I felt shoot through me. The young lovers I had had did not compare to the touch of this older, experienced man. I’m sure I was still too nervous at that point for my pussy to actually get wet, but it was not the bad feeling I had anticipated at all. Imagine enjoying having a complete stranger touch me. Who in their right mind could ever understand that.
The song ended and I began to withdraw from his touch. I assumed that my first lap dance was over and likely that Freddie would prefer to be back here with Ruby. He surprised me by asking me to continue. Immediately, I felt panic wash over me again. I was uncertain as to what else to do to keep entertaining him. Should I try talking? Just keep moving to the music? Play with myself?
I opted for the easiest of those three. I just continued to keep pace with the music, and I stood up and slowly twirled in a circle so that Freddie could have a look at the back of me. I do know that men particularly enjoy my bum. Freddie was no exception, and he cupped his hands around my cheeks firmly as I was turned facing away from him.
“Amazing,” he murmured. Again, I could feel my face aflame. I was not used to receiving such compliments and as such, did not really know how to respond. I stood in place and gave a sexy little shake of my hips. Freddie’s hands moved up to my hips and gently guided me back to be sitting on one of his legs again.
“Well, Anastasia, I have very much enjoyed being your first client. But I do believe I have promised Ruby a few dances as well,” he said. “So get dressed and I will give you your money.”
I tried not to seem overly eager to put my outfit back on. Not that it hid much anyways. Freddie pulled out his wallet and counted out forty dollars. He handed it to me and I put it in my purse. It was that easy. Seven minutes and forty dollars.
“It’s common courtesy to give a hug or kisses on both cheeks in parting,” and with that, he pulled me in for a kiss on both cheeks. “I hope we will see each other again.”
“Thank you,” I murmured in his ear. I truly was grateful that he had been so kind to me. I followed him down the row of booths, passing two girls and their clients on my way. I tried to keep my eyes focused ahead of me so as not to seem like I was prying into what the other girls were doing. It seemed the polite thing to do.
As I exited the champagne lounge, I noticed that most of the tables were now occupied by guys. Some had girls sitting at the tables with them, and there was a petite blonde on stage wearing nothing but stilettos and her stunning smile. Freddie went and rejoined his group briefly before allowing Ruby to take his hand and lead him away for some dances. I took a seat on one of the stools across from the bar and lit a cigarette.
I inhaled deeply and attempted to mentally prepare myself for my next challenge. Going on stage. I can do this, I told myself. Taking off my clothes is not rocket science. This is my chance at a better life. Just think about how easy making that forty dollars was. Which it was, truly. I had only had minimum wage jobs previous to dancing and I could taste the freedom that dancing was about to afford me.
I was certain that I had caught the attention of a few guys while I sat deep in thought. I watched a few girls go on stage while Ruby must have been in the back dancing for Freddie. She joined me about half an hour after I saw her disappear, so I assume she probably made at least 100$ dancing for him. Her curly mop was in a bit of disarray, but she still looked extremely sexy.
“So how was it, my little Anastasia?” She asked as she took a seat next to me.
“It wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be,” I admitted. “He was very sweet.”
“Yeah, I like Freddie,” she confided. “He’s a gentleman. They aren’t all like him, but it was a good first experience for you for sure. Did you go back and see if maybe his friends wanted dances?”
“No,” I said. “I’m still a little shy to be approaching guys on my own.”
“You’ll get the hang of it,” she assured me. “All in due time. Are you ready for stage?”
“Honestly? No. But I’m going to do it anyways,” I laughed. “As long as I don’t fall on my face, I’ll be good.”
“You’re not going to fall, and the guys are going to love you, I promise,” Ruby said.
I was not so sure. But I wasn’t about to have much time to ponder whether they’d like me as I heard the DJ call Ruby’s name. That meant that I would be after her. Oh my good god. What have I got myself into. Suddenly my heart was racing again, and my nerves were back with a vengeance. Ruby must have noticed because she got up and came and gave me a little squeeze.
“Just watch what I do on stage and then you can try to copy me,” Ruby instructed. I nodded my head in agreement, not trusting my voice not to quiver.
Everyone in the room burst into applause and cheers and the girl who had been on stage made a graceful exit down the three stairs. Then the opening chords to the Rolling Stones’ Paint It Black began and Ruby’s face lit up. She sashayed over to the stage with a slightly exaggerated shake of her hips. As she walked up the stairs, again everyone clapped loudly.
“Messieurs, je vous presente la tres jolie Ruby!” the DJ announced over the crowd. (Gentleman, I now present the very pretty Ruby.)
Ruby was in her element, and with a smile from ear to ear, she did not miss a single beat of the song. Her feet seemed to barely touch the stage as she danced around gracefully. She crawled on her hands and knees, flipping her hair up to frame her face. She was goddamned sexy when she did that. She leaned up against one of the poles and let her hands run down her body and it turned me on to watch her so obviously enjoying herself. I was able to forget my fears watching her I was in a trance. This was a side of Ruby I had never seen before. She removed her top and then her bra with such skill that it was obvious she was made for this job. I felt my show would definitely pale in comparison to this sexy red-headed siren before me.
Ruby finished the fast portion of her set and the crowd went crazy following her exit. She motioned for me to follow her downstairs to the change room. Closing my mouth, which must have been agape in awe, I followed her.
“That was amazing!” I exclaimed.
“Thanks,” Ruby said. Her face was flushed from the exercise and excitement. “It’s quite a rush to have everyone cheering for you like that.”
“I bet it is, how am I supposed to even come close to comparing?” I tried not to sound too whiny.
“Don’t look at it like you’re comparing yourself,” she said. “You are a totally different girl than I am. And some guys would love you and overlook me as much as you think only the opposite is true.”
“If you say so,” I mumbled. I really wasn’t so sure.
“I know I’m right,” she said with a great air of authority. “Now paint a pretty smile on your face, we’re going back up there and you’re on right after my slow.”
She had donned a long sleeved man’s dress shirt on top of a lacy white bra and panties. If the desired effect was her looking like she had just woken up in someone’s bed, she got it. It was a naughty outfit, and something that stood out from all the sequins and neon. I liked her style.
The hard rock break song that had been playing stopped and gave way to a sweet ballad. Ruby walked up the stairs to the stage, only to crawl onto it. She draped her body slowly on her hands and knees across the stage to the sweet song she had chosen. Her slow set was even more erotic than her fast had been. Watching her lie on her back and caress her body; her back arched, legs spread wide. She was so sensual and arousing. She took off every last item of clothes so expertly, I never thought I would be anywhere near close to as smooth as she was that night. I was completely taken by her every movement that I almost forgot that my turn was next.
As the song came to its close, a totally naked Ruby was coming down the stairs off the stage. The expression on her face was so serene. Then, spotting me, she smiled her encouragement. My turn.
Destiny’s Child started to play over the sound system. I was frozen to the spot where I stood. My mind was numbingly blank and I had no control over my body for what seemed to be an eternity. I felt like everyone was staring at me, they all knew I was the new girl supposed to be on stage. Then a tiny voice inside me whispered, I can do this.
As if spurred on by that little whisper, my legs began to shakily carry me to the stairs at the stage. The adrenaline rush hit as I was climbing those stairs and the crowd cheered and clapped loudly. My body went on automatic pilot, retracing my steps from earlier in Ruby’s living room. As I often do when I’m nervous, I plastered a smile on my face to hide my true feelings. I am sure that I had the innocent, unmistakable air of an amateur – and that in itself can actually be incredibly sexy. As my first song ended, I was trying not to let on how hard I was gasping for air.
The second song started and I knew I had to take my top off sometime soon. I had practiced it quite a few times but when I attempted it on stage it was all I could do to keep my balance. I was more worried about falling on my face than the fact that I was now topless in a room full of strangers. Near the end of the song, I was feeling more comfortable and even tried to feel myself up all sexy and slick. My sweaty palms against my body reminded me just how awkward and not sexy I truly felt. But then my second song ended and the DJ was barely audible saying my name over the guys’ appreciation. I could hardly believe that applause was for me. What an amazing feeling. I did it.
As I carefully stepped down from the stage, I saw Ruby on her way towards me with a huge grin on her face. I had thought I’d have been able to seek her out for support while I was up there, but the lights were far too bright for that. I couldn’t have made out anyone’s face between the lights and the adrenaline rushing through my veins.
“Baby you were fantastic!” Ruby exclaimed, her face glowing with pride. She hugged me, then leaned down to lick one of my bare nipples. I giggled, a little surprised but still in a daze from the crazy spike my blood pressure had just taken. A few guys noticed and cheered. She left one arm around my waist and steered me towards the change room. I’m really glad she did, because I was feeling pretty light-headed.
“I still have to do my slow,” I said out loud to no one in particular. I think I was reminding myself more than anything.
“Yes,” said Ruby, “And you need to change into your other outfit.”
The dress we had chosen for my slow was a lavender strapless formal gown that Ruby had tailored to have long slits up each side. Simple, sexy, and most importantly – easy to take off. It was more difficult to put on that night than in living room rehearsal as my body was gleaming with a thin layer of sweat from my upbeat song choices. I finally squeezed into it, not a second too soon as I could hear the current track winding down.
“Piece of cake, Miss Anastasia,” Ruby declared. She kissed my cheek and shooed me up the stairs.
Mariah Carey’s low sultry opening verse to My All began and above the sweet slow song, I thought for sure my heartbeat was audible. My adrenaline was pumping so fiercely through my body I drowned out the guys in the room and I danced. I felt so absolutely amazing, totally in my element, swaying and sashaying about the stage as if I belonged there. As Mariah crooned over the speakers, I become the sexy dancer I was meant to be. I removed my dress slowly, peeling down the top to reveal my breasts first. My nipples hardened instantly at my soft touching of them. I don’t think I was aroused, exactly; more excited at the thought of being the coveted object of men’s affections.
I have met many women whose exact fantasy it is to be a stripper. Women do also criticize exotic dancers – but many secretly because they wish they had the balls to be doing it themselves. Jealousy. Having men look at you with desire, hungry with lust. Guys that want you so bad, there isn’t much they wouldn’t give or do to have you. There is definite power to pussy, no doubt about it.
I pulled the rest of my dress gracefully off my body, even pulled over my heels without a snag. I was born to be a tantalizing tease, up in front of complete strangers enticing them to want me. I was almost sad when my song came to an end. I was stark naked and it felt awesome. In fact, I didn't want to put my clothes back on because I was so warm from my show, I was sweating. Not profusely, more like glistening. I was glowing; basking in the wonderful feeling I felt.
I am certain that I most likely did not look as sexy as I felt. A lot of my moves were still very amateur in their style. I still wore high heels that did not give my legs and steps quite the grace of dancers in stiletto shoes and boots. But I was sexy inside! I felt empowered and enlightened with this new experience of stripping. What a rush! I thought to myself.
“Wow, baby, you were DAMN hot up there!” Ruby exclaimed as she ran down the stairs after me.
I grinned from ear to ear. “Thank you, Ruby,” I said, “Coming from you, that means a lot.”
“What do you mean by that?” she asked.
“You’re so amazing up on stage, so graceful, so perfectly in tune with the music – I could never be that good,” I replied, biting my bottom lip a bit.
“Remember what I told you at the beginning of all this?” She stopped and looked me hard in the eyes. I was taken by the intensity flashing in her green eyes. Whatever she was about to say, it was something she felt passionately about.
“Every guy has his version of a dream girl,” she said. “And you only need to be yourself, not me or anyone else. The right guy ultimately will love you for you and you for him. But many guys will love you for you. You’re beautiful, Anastasia. Inside and out.”
I had tears forming in my eyes at the lovely praise. Her words have always stuck with me. It’s much easier to be yourself, to not tell lies and have to remember them.
“Your story is the one you know better than any other too,” she continued. “I encourage you to be honest with your clients. In the end, it’s easier and they’ll respect you more.”
I changed back into my black lace booty shorts with a renewed energy to tackle the challenge of getting guys to take us for dances. That night, at the end of my 5 hour shift, I had made $150. Ruby had made about $350, but she had regular clients that came to see her. I was still ecstatic, as that was the equivalent of $30 an hour, much more than the $8.75 or so minimum wage at the time. More than that, I had been bitten by the stripping bug.
